Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@ObscureGent : If you ask a haunted doll if they're possessed they have to tell you.
@ObscureGent: [Antichrist emerging from the ground]
Oh, I see you’ve all been doing a good job without me.
@ObscureGent: Me: You want to see me rip a phone book in half?
Kid: What’s a phone book?
Bird 1: All he had was one rock.
Bird 2: His aim was perfection.
@ObscureGent: Dragon fire can’t melt stone pillars. King’s Landing was an inside job.
@ObscureGent: [Waiting at the dentist]
*leans over to stranger*
I’ll clean your teeth for half price.
@ObscureGent: Priest: You May now kiss the bride.
Goth couple: *scowls*
Priest: *Sigh* You may Now bestow one final graven kiss upon this queen of winter throned.
@ObscureGent: The Titanic was unsinkable until Leo DiCaprio had premarital sex with Kate Winslett. Keep it in your pants until marriage kids.
@ObscureGent: [First target practice]
Son: I missed
Stormtrooper Dad: I know, I’m proud of you son.
@ObscureGent: Me: When do we get to solve mysteries and explore haunted houses?
Gang member: *cocks gun*
Me: Ohhhh, this is a murder gang.