@OhNoSheTwitnt

1920’s: Women were fighting for equality and the poor were suffering while the rich prospered at their expense.

2020’s: Women are fighting for equality and the poor are suffering while the rich prosper at their expense but we have the Internet now.

@OhNoSheTwitnt

Mock anti-vaxxers all you want but they’ll never have to deal with their kids during those angsty teen years or go broke paying for their college.

@OhNoSheTwitnt

Trebek: This Disney movie starred Elsa & Anna.
Me: Frozen.
Trebek: In the form of a question please.
Me: Do you wanna build a snowman, Alex?

@OhNoSheTwitnt

Actually, Frankincense was the name of the doctor who created it. You’re thinking of Frankincense’s monster.

@OhNoSheTwitnt

Me: If you can’t wear white after Labor Day why do people dress up as ghosts for Halloween?

Waiter: I meant any questions about our menu.

@OhNoSheTwitnt

Do you think Ariel ate the scallops whose shells she wears as a bra or that she just found them?

Waiter: I meant any questions about our menu.

@OhNoSheTwitnt

If you need any proof that evil ages you, Sarah Sanders and Stephen Miller are younger than Meghan Markle.

@OhNoSheTwitnt

Him: How many people do you think he killed in that movie?

Me: What am I? John Wickipedia?

Him: Not funny.

@OhNoSheTwitnt

If you think Jason Momoa has dad bod, please give me your dad’s phone number.