Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us
@OnlyFastEddie : I had my ring finger removed just to be safe.
@OnlyFastEddie: Me: I hope you don't mind if I nibble during sex.
Her: Not at all!
*Pulls out grilled cheese sandwich*
@OnlyFastEddie: "I'm great in bed" ~ breakfast
@OnlyFastEddie: I stick pins and needles in the people I don't like because can't afford voodoo dolls.
@OnlyFastEddie: Hair pulling during sex is hot unless the whole wig comes off.
@OnlyFastEddie: Finished christmas shopping for my entire family.
*walks out of pharmacy*
@OnlyFastEddie: The closest I've ever come to winning anything was that time I got picked from a lineup at the station.
@OnlyFastEddie: Don't take drugs... for granted.
@OnlyFastEddie: Halloween and Valentine's day are pretty much the same thing... people dress up and pretend to be someone they're not for some sugar
@OnlyFastEddie: *laughs all the way to the bank*
*cries all the way back*
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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