I had my ring finger removed just to be safe.
Me: I hope you don’t mind if I nibble during sex.
Her: Not at all!
*Pulls out grilled cheese sandwich*
“I’m great in bed” ~ breakfast
I stick pins and needles in the people I don’t like because can’t afford voodoo dolls.
Hair pulling during sex is hot unless the whole wig comes off.
Finished christmas shopping for my entire family.
*walks out of pharmacy*
The closest I’ve ever come to winning anything was that time I got picked from a lineup at the station.
Don’t take drugs… for granted.
Halloween and Valentine’s day are pretty much the same thing… people dress up and pretend to be someone they’re not for some sugar
*laughs all the way to the bank*
*cries all the way back*