@OrdinaryAlso

drive-thru worker: would you like to make that large?

me: haha no thanks i need you to make it

@OrdinaryAlso

Me: the cords are tangled.

Brain: pull at them.

Me: shouldn’t I just untangle them?

Brain: pull at them violently.

@OrdinaryAlso

The opposite of having in-laws over is having outlaws over which is also a lot like having in-laws over.

@OrdinaryAlso

Buffalo Wild Wings: Did you order ahead?

Me: No it was just wings.

@OrdinaryAlso

“You should cook it like this more often.”

Me, panicked cried twice and burnt myself when cooking it: sure.

@OrdinaryAlso

Customer: Do you guys have wings?

Me, working in a food truck: just the wheels.

@OrdinaryAlso

Person: *wearing cargo shorts*

Kangaroo: that guy must have a lot of babies.