@OuterJohn

1) Throw a ball of yarn into a fencing battle 2) Wait until the fight is over 3) Retrieve your fully-knitted sweater

@OuterJohn

I hate it when I’m digging my own grave at gunpoint and I discover buried treasure.

@OuterJohn

Raise your arms and run through the police crime scene tape like you’re finishing a marathon.

@OuterJohn

When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic.