Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@Overdue_Bills : Hell yes we can still be friends if you don't drink, I'm not that shallow. You have a driver's license, right??
@Overdue_Bills: Sorry Windows. The only thing a "strong" password will do is lock me out of my own computer when drunk. 1234 it is.
@Overdue_Bills: Whenever my car won't start I open the hood so I can have a good look at all the things I don't understand.
@Overdue_Bills: My daughter wrote "Daddy is the best" in the snow then smashed it when I made her come inside. She'll make some lucky guy miserable one day.
@Overdue_Bills: "Dude, this is so awesome, I can use my $300 smart phone as a flashlight".
- Why we'll be speaking Chinese in 50 years.
@Overdue_Bills: Please boss, tell us again how important it is the company gets to $3 billion in revenue. I bought an 18 pack of beer with dimes last night.
@Overdue_Bills: She was like "wrong hole", so I said "adventurous on the e-harmony profile isn't knitting quilts Velma", long story short I'm still single.