@PS_IRuddYou

Just drove past a new typewriter repair shop…

That’s not a front for anything illegal I’m sure…

@PS_IRuddYou

If the stick figure people started committing more crimes… I could be a legendary sketch artist for the FBI.

@PS_IRuddYou

Tried to text “playa” but it changed it to “player”

I must have the white iPhone.

@PS_IRuddYou

Me: Dad, am I adopted?

Dad: Shit, like I’d have picked you?

@PS_IRuddYou

This girl text me: “your adorable

I text back: no YOU’RE adorable

Now she likes me and I was just pointing out her typo…