@PaigeKellerman

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

@PaigeKellerman

The great thing about having four kids is having four people to watch me bring in the groceries all by myself.

@PaigeKellerman

I’ve gotten to the point in my parenting career where I don’t just vacuum up Legos, I laugh while I do it.

@PaigeKellerman

Parenting is having your kids reject everything you cook, and then watching the 2yo eat a dog treat and ask for another.

@PaigeKellerman

I’m never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.

@PaigeKellerman

Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling “The laptop’s not a touch screen,” at my kids.

@PaigeKellerman

90% of being a parent is shouting, “Remember to flush the toilet.” The other 10% is flushing the toilet for everyone.