*admires David at the museum* I can’t believe a teenage mutant ninja turtle sculpted this
When I was little and asked Mom how to spell a word she’d hand me a dictionary so when she asked how to do emojis I handed her a 13-year-old
The most unrealistic thing about The Walking Dead is that a couple who had a kid after 2000 would’ve named it Carl.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don’t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
My grandma had a lock installed on her medicine cabinet poor thing no one’s ever going to visit her again
I explained ‘gluten allergy’ to my grandma and she sighed and told me they ate leather belts during WWII to keep from starving
What do you mean I didn’t win I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
I ran a whole 5K and didn’t even eradicate cancer
I just ran a .003048K
A flock of dads is called a grill.