Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of PeterClayton6's best tweets

@PeterClayton6 : My testicles are in The Guinness Book of Records. Got a few minutes before the librarian sees me.

@PeterClayton6: (Adobe CEO's house)

Like the new couch hun?

Update it.

What about the wallpap…

UPDATE IT ALL.

You're scaring the ki…

UPDATE THEM TOO…

@PeterClayton6: *Moses opens tablet*

You have TEN unread commandments.

@PeterClayton6: If you say 'my cocaine' really loudly, you will sound exactly like Michael Caine saying his own name. I will never get tired of this.

@PeterClayton6: *buys shed at B&Q*

B&Q: Are you putting this up yourself?

Me: No, it's going in the garden.

B&Q:

Me:

B&Q: I can't help you anymore.