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Page of PinkCamoTO's best tweets

@PinkCamoTO : Honey, why do these IKEA sofa instructions show a hammer, two allen keys and a divorce lawyer's office?

@PinkCamoTO: *first date*

Me: *don't be weird don't be weird don't be weird*

"OHMYGOD I have an app that can show us what our kids will look like."

@PinkCamoTO: H: Are you a beer drinker or a wine drinker?

Me: ... ... ... Yes.

@PinkCamoTO: Boss: Why were you late today?

Me: *flashes back to standing motionless in my closet staring at my clothes for 20 mins*

Me: Traffic.

@PinkCamoTO: H: Why do you always wear your hair in a ponytail?

Me: I can't afford a face lift.

@PinkCamoTO: As the parent of a 5yo boy, I can name all the dinosaurs and none of my coworkers.

@PinkCamoTO: Most of being an adult is just trying to figure out where that bruise came from.

@PinkCamoTO: One of those compression vacuum storage systems but for the skeletons in my closet.

@PinkCamoTO: MyFitnessPal told me my beer has a lot of vitamin C so I guess I can begin my descent into full blown alcoholism.

@PinkCamoTO: Interviewer: What would you like to get out of this job?

Me: As many free office supplies as possible.