@PlainTravis

I’m quitting my job to pursue my dream of quitting my job.

@PlainTravis

I don’t respect Aquaman, because I can’t respect a hero whose arch nemesis is that plastic drink holder that you find on a six pack of cans.

@PlainTravis

I want to be a pilot, but mostly so I’d have an excuse to tell passengers, “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”