Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of PresTightrhymes's best tweets

@PresTightrhymes : You: Would you like a keto burger?

My Anaconda: No.

@PresTightrhymes: Me, the boss: The most important part of your job is to not distract me by naming different kinds of delicious sausage.

New Guy: No problem. And do we-?

Me: Thats it! You’re fired!

@PresTightrhymes: *showing friend my new place*

Me:(sitting)And this is my mocking chair.
Him:Don't you mean rocking chair?
Me:DoN't YoU mEaN rOcKiNg ChAiR?