Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
Follow us on Instagram. That's it, don't make us say cringy things like YouTubers say at the end of their videos. Click here to follow us
@R0ckG0d88 : A house spider is just a regular spider except it walks with a limp and has a pill habit.
@R0ckG0d88: Fairly certain this toddler staring at me across this waiting room wants to start some shit.
@R0ckG0d88: My dog can't hear me when I yell at him to stop chewing on my flip flop but he can hear the crinkle of the Dorito bag from 3 counties over.
@R0ckG0d88: If Target didn't want anyone singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" into a hairbrush they shouldn't have it playing over the store intercom.
@R0ckG0d88: Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.