@RachelNoise

Me: *buys a blue chair online*

Internet: check out these 16 similar blue chairs since you obv collect blue chairs

@RachelNoise

The person who named the Sea of Tranquility on the Moon had to be a realtor.

@RachelNoise

A lot of people think my handle is my actual name but it isn’t. My real name is Rachel Onomatopoeia.

@RachelNoise

This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize I’m not out of his league.

@RachelNoise

Based upon recent baking experience I have concluded that a loaf of bread should cost $75.

@RachelNoise

Lockdown upside: I have learned how to operate the 17 remote controls for the tv.

@RachelNoise

Sometimes I think the human body is amazing, how it can fight disease, heal from injury, create new life, and other times it let’s me choke on my own spit.

@Rachelnoise

If you keep a pen in your mouth when you’re on your computer no one asks if you’re busy.

@Rachelnoise

After three beers in a bikini I quit holding in my stomach and just think of baby names to tell people.

@Rachelnoise

My decorating style is calculated placement of sentimental things around the house, so after I die, my husband can’t get laid.