Reflections on this mirror appear uglier than they really are because of the erroneous standards of beauty set by our judgemental society.
Some fairy tales start with “once upon a time”. Others start with “If I won the elections”.
If I had a dollar for every time I fell for a tweeter instead of a real person, I could pay for the psychiatric help I obviously need.
In a public restroom I found a sign that read “THINK” on the mirror above the sink so I labelled the soap dispenser “THOAP” to match with it
I hate it when crazy people say Poseidon told them they are the ninja turtles and I don’t even remember I told them so.
The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.