Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@RandiLawson : Gather 'round you single losers so I can throw my used flowers at you -Brides
@RandiLawson: CBS Fall Line-Up:
Big Bang Theory
Last Sheldon Standing
America's Got Sheldons
@RandiLawson: I feel a special bond w/ ppl that always pop up in my 'May Know' Facebook window. Like u see me,I see u &we've both agreed not to be friends
@RandiLawson: We've replaced the names of the foreign countries & leaders in Trump's speech with the names of IKEA® furniture. Let's see if he notices
@RandiLawson: Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You're annoying enough as it is
@RandiLawson: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Yes I remain sweet & quiet but on the inside I'm composing a strongly worded email
@RandiLawson: Free tip for home invaders: literally everybody with an iPhone6 is out at brunch right now
@RandiLawson: Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
@RandiLawson: a murder of crows, a pride of lions, a virgin of gamers
@RandiLawson: This spa was amazing!
Umm Miss, you just walked through our car wash.