Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of RandiLawson's best tweets

@RandiLawson : Gather 'round you single losers so I can throw my used flowers at you -Brides

@RandiLawson: CBS Fall Line-Up:
Big Bang Theory
Young Sheldon
Old Sheldon
Ghost Sheldon
CSI Sheldon
Last Sheldon Standing
America's Got Sheldons

@RandiLawson: I feel a special bond w/ ppl that always pop up in my 'May Know' Facebook window. Like u see me,I see u &we've both agreed not to be friends

@RandiLawson: We've replaced the names of the foreign countries & leaders in Trump's speech with the names of IKEA® furniture. Let's see if he notices

@RandiLawson: Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You're annoying enough as it is

@RandiLawson: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Yes I remain sweet & quiet but on the inside I'm composing a strongly worded email

@RandiLawson: Free tip for home invaders: literally everybody with an iPhone6 is out at brunch right now

@RandiLawson: Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones

@RandiLawson: a murder of crows, a pride of lions, a virgin of gamers

@RandiLawson: This spa was amazing!

Umm Miss, you just walked through our car wash.