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Page of RandiLawson's best tweets

@RandiLawson : My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi

@RandiLawson: Any restaurant can be family style if the waiter criticizes your order

@RandiLawson: Then there were 3 sets of footprints & God said "This is Deb. She answered my Craigslist ad & U r the one who said we should try new things"

@RandiLawson: For english press ONE. Para espanol el primo numero DOS. If you like totes can't even right now, obvs press THREE.

@RandiLawson: Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?

NO, SENSEI!

Gluten sensitivity does not exist in this dojo,does it? Put your hand down Aiyden

@RandiLawson: I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!

@RandiLawson: Me: OMG I feel amazing!

WebMD: sounds like cancer!

@RandiLawson: Thanks for telling me your astrological sign, cause now I know a lot about your personality. Like you are a gullible dummy.

@RandiLawson: Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays.

@RandiLawson: "Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt!"

"DOCTOR PLEASE SHE IS CODING! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!"