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@RealSamHarwood : Unless you are literally the Dark Lord Voldemort then a snake is just not an acceptable pet dude
@RealSamHarwood: A homeless man randomly asked me if I was from Minnesota yesterday, so I replied, "no, but once I stabbed a guy who grew up in Minneapolis"
@RealSamHarwood: I shouted "the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!" at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour
@RealSamHarwood: Reminding Dad I'm too old for adoption really bums him out because that was one of his favorite threats when I was growing up
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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