@RedRegenerated : ME: *scattering remains* He loved this park.
PARK RANGER: But...but he hasn't been cremated!
ME: *lowering axe* Cremated?
@RedRegenerated: [Dinner party]
ME: *holding a plate of empty shells* Boy, those oysters were filling.
HOST: MY TURTLES!
@RedRegenerated: WIFE: Stop taking things the wrong way.
ME: [swallows suppository]
@RedRegenerated: SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?
WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.
@RedRegenerated: ME: I'd like to buy some underwear.
ME: No, new please.