@Reel2Dialog2: [Alien vs Predator]
Alien: I can eat your face off
Predator: I'm not allowed within 100 feet of a school
@Reel2Dialog2: Me: *wakes up with a jolt, sweating*
Her: omg are you ok??
Me: BABY SPICE WASN'T A BABY SO THAT MEANS SPORTY PROBABLY WASN'T ATHLETIC AT ALL
@Reel2Dialog2: [from the bottom of a lake]
I have this thing where I underestimate the size of puddles.
@Reel2Dialog2: [Inventing octopus]
God: 8 arms
G: with suckie things
G: Mouth like a parrot, shoots ink
G: ...I ate mushrooms
@Reel2Dialog2: Dear woman I saw jog down a busy street, run into a liquor store, buy two bottles of wine, and then jog back home,
Come back to me.
@Reel2Dialog2: Pizza: You should totally eat all of me. Like, all by yourself.
Me: What? No way.
Pizza: Why not?
Me: That's a really good point.
@Reel2Dialog2: The Lion King is my favorite movie about how having a karate wielding monkey can completely change your life.