ME: *wearing multiple earrings, a face mask, earbuds and glasses*
EARS: Shall I hold your purse as well or are you good?
Amazon: Your order has been ship—
Me: *Track Package*
Cauliflower: *ring ring*
Like dudes straight up do not pay attention. It took Bruce Willis 2 hours and 10 minutes to realize he was a damn ghost in the Sixth Sense.
Overpopulation? Ban coffee. Humans will murder the shit out of each other.
Me: people died on the Titanic but the lobsters were set free.