@RobDenBleyker

I hope I never meet the girl of my dreams because she’s a thirty foot half witch half crocodile who chases me endlessly through darkness.

@RobDenBleyker

It’s always funny when the flight attendant says “we know you have a choice of airlines” as if free will exists.

@RobDenBleyker

Someone please help me with my pope resume, so far all I have is “I look fantastic in large hats.”

@RobDenBleyker

Video games don’t cause violence, they PREVENT it. Whenever I see a turtle now, I chuck it off the nearest cliff where it can’t hurt anyone.

@RobDenBleyker

Is there an app that makes the flatline noise? Bet I could freak out some nurses.