[uses 225 gallons of water to clean out peanut butter jar for recycling]
You say “Are you ok?” but I know you really mean “Stop coughing.”
Manager: $5000 in office supplies have gone missing. We are making some changes.
Me: [in paper clip chainmail, sweating]
[travels back in time]
[accidentally kills Baby Charlie Chaplin]
My car is 13 years old.
I like how the ceiling fabric hangs down and makes it feel like a blanket fort.