I saw my lawyer at the grocery store but I didn’t speak to him because I didn’t have $300 on me.
So now they say Vaccinated People can Gather in Groups of 8 with No Issues but I don’t Know 8 People with No Issues.
I didn’t Survive Cooties to be Taken Out by a Goddam Virus.
One of the perks of being self employed is sex with the boss.
Here in the South, we don’t consider a cookout successful unless there’s an ambulance involved.
The roadside sobriety tests are really getting tough … now you have to name all the Kardashians while folding a fitted sheet.
I never got the cat spayed but we did have ‘The Sex Talk.’
Grandma said she thinks her new neighbors have got the gay.
Maybe the refrigerator doesn’t see anything it wants in you either.
So my doctor said my alcohol use was depleting magnesium from my body and I should change my lifestyle, so I bought a magnesium supplement.