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@Robert_Beau : I never got the cat spayed but we did have 'The Sex Talk.'
@Robert_Beau: Grandma said she thinks her new neighbors have got the gay.
@Robert_Beau: Maybe the refrigerator doesn’t see anything it wants in you either.
@Robert_Beau: So my doctor said my alcohol use was depleting magnesium from my body and I should change my lifestyle, so I bought a magnesium supplement.
@Robert_Beau: Remember kids, if you’re driving in the snow and start skidding, turn into the direction of the cheapest car.
@Robert_Beau: When the zombie apocalypse comes and you’re in Walmart, how will you know?
@Robert_Beau: Work from home? I don't even work from work.
@Robert_Beau: Sunday Family Dinner:
Mother In Law: Isn't that your third glass of wine?
Me: Isn't that your third husband?
@Robert_Beau: You know you're getting old when your decision to sleep with someone is mostly based on the quality of their mattress and pillows.
@Robert_Beau: It's so hot today I went to see the ex just for the cold shoulder and icy stare.