Went to see a psychic without an appointment and he wasn’t expecting me ?
As I mentally undress you my OCD kicks in and I mentally fold all your clothes.
If I reach 700 followers, I’m gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won’t do much for you guys, but it’ll certainly liven up Starbucks.
Sold my wife on ebay. Dreading the buyer feedback.
I speak 3 languages. Unfortunately no one else in the world speaks 2 of them.
Spiritually, ever since I ate my first curry, I’ll always be part Indian.
I still get my ‘drive-throughs’ & ‘drive-bys’ mixed up. Which is the one where I have to take a gun?
Sorry Siri, talking to machines is not for me. I still get tongue-tied at the drive-through.
Might see you guys in 15-25yrs. Weekend with my folks & it’s only a matter of time before I snap.
Ladies. Even the most mundane chore is better in a Princess Leia costume.