@RodLacroix

Me: What do you want for dinner?

Child: McDonald’s.

Me: I’m not buying McDonald’s. What do you want me to make?

Child: A Big Mac.

@RodLacroix

All the Christmas gifts I wrap look like they were done by a drunk elf with a tape fetish.

@RodLacroix

Wife: Your resolution this year should be to listen to me better.

Me: Bacon would be great, thanks.

@RodLacroix

A good way to keep your coffee warm is to not have kids.

@RodLacroix

Me: How do you guys want your steaks cooked?

Kids: Cook them so they taste like chicken nuggets.

@RodLacroix

Here’s a little song about post-Christmas cleanup it’s called “Where the Hell Are We Going to Put All This Shit” and a one and a two

@RodLacroix

My wife told me the one thing she really wants for Christmas and I have to say I hope she gets it because I’d really like to meet Jason Momoa.

@RodLacroix

Gift-Wrapping Club for Men Rules:

1) There is no such thing as too much tape
2) Forget everything you know about right angles
3) Gaps can be filled in with a different kind of paper or sticky notes
4) It’s okay to swear at scissors

@RodLacroix

If Amazon boxes become the currency of the post-apocalyptic world my family will be rich.

@RodLacroix

Me: I hate working from home.

Also me: I hate working from work.