@RunOldMan
My wife was annoyed because the fridge was beeping, I’d left the door open to long while looking, in my defense I couldn’t find my keys anywhere else.
@RunOldMan
@RunOldMan
I’d been waiting so long for my doc, when the assistant came out and called for Krokowski, I said right here, here I am and ran back before Krokowski knew what happened.
@RunOldMan
Kids throw a toy at you and hit you on the head and think it’s hilarious, but if you do it back they’ll start screaming at the top of their lungs.
@RunOldMan
Doc asked if I had a strong stream and I told him it’s so strong sometimes I flood the shower.
@RunOldMan
A guy in the waiting room at the therapist’s office kept whispering they’re coming to get us, they’re coming to get us, I sat next to him and whispered how much longer, I’ve been waiting an hour.
@RunOldMan
My wife’s tweezers were missing the other day, she finally found them near a fly with no wings, I don’t know how that happened.
@RunOldMan
Carol got out of the car with a box of donuts, so helped her carry them in, who said chivalry is dead.
@RunOldMan
I was mowing the lawn, hit a small rock and it went flying and hit something to the side of me, I looked over and the neighbor’s car had a small dent, I was going to go tell him but then I thought no I better not, he may think I did it.
@RunOldMan
When I see Jehovas I talk to them right through my doorbell camera and tell them I’m not home.
@RunOldMan
I pulled my Power Washer out not because anything really needed cleaning but because you may as well have some fun while your quarantined. Related, my neighbor is soaked.