Going forward I’m only saying I love you to cheeseburgers.
I only shop at yard sales for haunted family heirlooms & lingerie.
*Calls timeout during street fight to tie shoelaces*
Sorry I romantically ran a seagull feather across your lips.
Tried to challenge the guy in the stall next to me to a thumb war, now he’s holding my hand & crying about his childhood.
I need to wipe.