Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@SabotagedSmoke : I only shop at yard sales for haunted family heirlooms & lingerie.
@SabotagedSmoke: *Calls timeout during street fight to tie shoelaces*
@SabotagedSmoke: Sorry I romantically ran a seagull feather across your lips.
@SabotagedSmoke: Tried to challenge the guy in the stall next to me to a thumb war, now he's holding my hand & crying about his childhood.
I need to wipe.