Chasing a Pringles can down a slope is the closest I’ve ever been to hunting my own food.
-Do you take drugs?
-Ever tried them?
-You seem very nervous.
-I’m just not used to being questioned by a unicorn.
If your name is spelled Duhniayle, don’t hate me when I mispronounce it.
Hate your parents & their ridiculous spelling decisions.
The best way to return any clothing left at your place is to do a drive-by with a t-shirt gun on her wedding day.