Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@SaraESpivey : Was just in an elevator with my ex, so I stopped at every floor to show him he was wrong on so many levels.
@SaraESpivey: I may eat animals, but at least I wait until they're DEAD.
Plants are ALIVE, vegans.
You disgust me.
@SaraESpivey: Ironically, the Boogeyman was a terrible dancer.
@SaraESpivey: Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
@SaraESpivey: My Twitter crush is 4,762-timing me!
@SaraESpivey: I turned my phone onto "Airplane Mode" and threw it into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever.
@SaraESpivey: I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him
GOD, I hope he calls me.
@SaraESpivey: When my ex worked out of town, he would take my vibrators away from me. Said I was cheating on him w/them. He shoulda taken his brother too.
@SaraESpivey: After I orgasm, I yell "Aaaaand scene." Then I push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open& say "Ummm. We'll call u."
@SaraESpivey: My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He's mad now.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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