@SaraThomas84

I’m convinced that people are now just getting married and having babies to have something to post on FB

@SaraThomas84

The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone

@SaraThomas84

If shame burned calories, I’d be back to my birth weight by now

@SaraThomas84

If my phone is so “smart” how come it keeps letting me drunk dial my ex

@SaraThomas84

It’s all fun and games until you’re sitting in the Planned Parenthood waiting room doing your Algebra homework