@SardonicTart

My five stages of waking up:

1)Denial
2)Denial
3)Denial
4)Denial
5)Extreme hostility

@SardonicTart

“Well I guess I better get ready for work”

*gets out of bed*

“Ok I’m ready”

@SardonicTart

[In meeting]

Boss: any comments?
Me: I wish I was drunk right now.

@SardonicTart

*Vacuums for three minutes*

“Oh God I can’t keep up with this house”