My five stages of waking up:
Masks hanging from the rearview mirror are the new fizzy dice.
“Well I guess I better get ready for work”
*gets out of bed*
“Ok I’m ready”
Boss: any comments?
Me: I wish I was drunk right now.
When I was kid the internet was called Encyclopedia Britannica
How to get me to like you:
What can I do to pass the time?
*Vacuums for three minutes*
“Oh God I can’t keep up with this house”
“Omg I have a cat?”
Computer: shutting down