The average person has sex 89 times a year.
This is gonna be one hell of a week.
Aw look he’s about to say his first words!
*baby opens mouth*
Here it comes!
*el chapo dies*
God: okay I’m gonna have to send you to hell
*3 weeks later*
Angel: El Chapo has escaped from hell
*puts little Santa hat on cat*
Hahaha Santa claws
*puts little Santa hat on dog*
Hahaha Santa paws
6th grade nurse: do you play baseball
Me: uhh why
Nurse: your right arm is so much stronger than-
Me: oh yeah! Yeah I play baseball so much
(Macbeth and lady Macbeth)
“I killed King Duncan”
“You told me to!!”
I didn’t think you’d do it omg lmao savage
*at a concert*
ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK
LETS DO THIS HIT IT
*30 second ad plays first*
“You can be anything!”
Okay I’m going to be Kanye west
“Josh that’s not what I meant”
*puts my finger to her lips*
It’s Kanye now
The Catholic Church is selling bath bombs!
*puts Jesus Christ limited edition bath bomb into water*
*water turns into wine*
Thank u Jesus
*Will smith is alone in his corner, depressed*
“Won’t Smith,” he whispers