@Schindizzle

It’s 2015. I can’t believe we’re still referring to a dress as colored.

@Schindizzle

My prompt email replies are 10% due to me being a diligent employee, and 90% due to the crippling OCD that compels me to clear my inbox.

@Schindizzle

The Supreme Court is really just a regular court with tomatoes and sour cream.

@Schindizzle

Going to a Kenny G concert must feel like being on hold for two hours.