@Scorpio1080

I swear the Butterfly effect has seriously gone out of control this year.

@Scorpio1080

I love it when the doctor’s office asks me if I’ve been out of the country like I’m super rich or have Ebola.

@Scorpio1080

I just observed a sign that said “How do nudists clean their glasses?” so there’s that question to keep you up at night.

@Scorpio1080

Black Friday: Because Only in America, People trample others for Sales the day after being thankful for what they already have

@Scorpio1080

The Human Body Is 90% Water, So Basically We’re Just Cucumbers With Anxiety” – Science Person

@Scorpio1080

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

@Scorpio1080

Don’t let people push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon, because that shit is fun!

@Scorpio1080

The lottery gives you about a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t be going to work tomorrow. Alcohol will give you a 1 in 5. #PowerballFever