@ScorpionDong

Holy crap! This guy in the car next to me is absolutely losing his shit over “My Heart Will Go On”…said the guy in the car next to me

@ScorpionDong

I eat sunflower seeds because I like food but I absolutely love littering

@ScorpionDong

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain streaking”

[pilot darts out of the cockpit completely naked]

@ScorpionDong

Hangs a sign on front door that says “Robbery in progress – Please do not disturb” to deter burglars

@ScorpionDong

Favorite cannibal movies:
3) Cannibal Holocaust
2) Cannibal Ferox
1) She’s Having a Baby

@ScorpionDong

Everyone knows Robin but not a lot of people know Batman’s other sidekicks: Stealin, Burglin, Thievin

@ScorpionDong

What do we want?

-SHITTY MUSIC COMPILATIONS!

When do we want them?

-NOW! THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC

@ScorpionDong

How many DUIs does Tony Hawk have that he has to ride everywhere on a skateboard?

@ScorpionDong

The easiest way to get rid of a ghost is to ask him for some rent money or to help with the dishes