Watching two cars with reindeer hood antlers rutting for a parking spot and I’ve never felt more David Attenborough.
Wizard of Oz (1939): A hapless teen suffering from head trauma is led down the wrong path to cosplay, heroin, organ harvesting and ultimately, homicide.
Someone robbed a Pensacola Mini Mart stealing 300 cases of Red Bull. How do these people sleep at night.
That water trick was miraculous, but let’s see Jesus try walking on Legos.
All I’m saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we’re all French toast.
Once upon a midnight dreary, While I pondered my next mealy, Came an empty tapping, a rapping at my pantry door. Quoth the Ramen “ever poor”
Someone robbed a Pensacola WallMart of 300 cases of Red Bull. How do these people sleep at night.
Mailmen are basically reverse garbagemen.
Cats are just fuzzy houseplants that hate you.
Riding up in the elevator with a bunch of children. So much screaming & crying. You’d think one of them would ask me what the hell’s wrong.