Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ScottLinnen's best tweets

@ScottLinnen : Wizard of Oz (1939): A hapless teen suffering from head trauma is led down the wrong path to cosplay, heroin, organ harvesting and ultimately, homicide.

@ScottLinnen: Someone robbed a Pensacola Mini Mart stealing 300 cases of Red Bull. How do these people sleep at night.

@ScottLinnen: That water trick was miraculous, but let's see Jesus try walking on Legos.

@ScottLinnen: All I’m saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we’re all French toast.

@ScottLinnen: Once upon a midnight dreary, While I pondered my next mealy, Came an empty tapping, a rapping at my pantry door. Quoth the Ramen “ever poor”

@ScottLinnen: Someone robbed a Pensacola WallMart of 300 cases of Red Bull. How do these people sleep at night.

@ScottLinnen: Cats are just fuzzy houseplants that hate you.

@ScottLinnen: Riding up in the elevator with a bunch of children. So much screaming & crying. You'd think one of them would ask me what the hell's wrong.

@ScottLinnen: So many haunted "mansions." Sad how this country is killing the middle class ghost.