Her: I bought a wireless bra today.
Him: What’s the password?
*Walks 500 miles
*Walks 500 more
*Is the guy who falls down at your door
*Gets no answer
*Realizes he should have called first
Her: So, what is your major?
Him: I study forensics.
Her: Dude, that’s just 10!
I ran out of sterile gloves, so I’m just wearing boxing gloves when I go out.
I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.
*puts to and to together*
*blesses the rains down in Africa*
Who called it “unplugging the life support machine” and not “pulling the RIP cord”?
Pro is good and con is bad, so they should rename the Constitution to Prostitutio-oh, never mind.
[First day as Narrator]
Me: So, I just say the opposite of what the speaker said? I can handle that.
Narrator Trainer: But he could not.
*puts “Baby on Board” sticker on car so people will think I’ve had the sex*