My reaction to Kit Kat prices: $1 good deal. $1.25 ok. $1.50 whoa. $1.75 what are we at the OPERA?!
People who have wheels on their office chair, how do you get any work done?
Being a fat guy at McDonald’s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business
“My place is a mess” – Every girl, ever…. “Well in that case, I’m not coming in” – No guy, ever
Before mustaches were invented, people had to just GUESS who owned a water bed
I treat women well cause I’m a real man. Also, if I’m nice to them maybe they’ll come over and kill this spider for me
They say “confidence” is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I’d have to say “not banging my friends” would be a very close 2nd