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Page of SeanInCypress's best tweets

@SeanInCypress : I don't claim to know what happens inside the dishwasher, but I'm guessing that it's like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.

@SeanInCypress: Benedict Cumberbatch is proof that a white guy banged a cat.

@SeanINCypress: Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on.

@SeanINCypress: Bad news is I'm not fluent in Starbucks. Good news is I ordered a skinny Latin, and Marc Anthony is a real sweetheart.

@SeanINCypress: Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive.

@SeanINCypress: Gyms are full of people that haven't found the right couch.

@SeanINCypress: Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?

@SeanINCypress: If Batman doesn't wear underwear with my picture all over them, then this relationship is as one-sided as I feared.

@SeanINCypress: I don't like snakes, but "Diarrhea on a Plane" would be a lot scarier.