I don’t claim to know what happens inside the dishwasher, but I’m guessing that it’s like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
Benedict Cumberbatch is proof that a white guy banged a cat.
Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on.
Bad news is I’m not fluent in Starbucks. Good news is I ordered a skinny Latin, and Marc Anthony is a real sweetheart.
Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you’re still alive.
Gyms are full of people that haven’t found the right couch.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
If Batman doesn’t wear underwear with my picture all over them, then this relationship is as one-sided as I feared.
I don’t like snakes, but “Diarrhea on a Plane” would be a lot scarier.