Funny Tweeter

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Page of SentenceReduced's best tweets

@SentenceReduced : You can always tell someone's age by watching them get out of a car.

@SentenceReduced: Just know someone out there is thinking of you, and how to make your death look like an accident.

@SentenceReduced: I feel terrible I sat back and did nothing while 5 "Twilight" movies were made.

@SentenceReduced: I don't care what color or creed you are. Or what your religion is. Do not eat my work sandwich.

@SentenceReduced: Impress your date by eating your mashed potatoes with both hands.

@SentenceReduced: No more eating spaghetti while driving and this time I mean it.

@SentenceReduced: Don't advertise "All You Can Eat" then drag me out kicking and screaming with fists full of shrimp.

@SentenceReduced: I'm dealing with my anger issues one chicken wing at a time.

@SentenceReduced: [a trampoline that allows me to get from the couch to the fridge in one bounce]