Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@SergioValenCo : I don't tweet about my boss because I don't wanna be a suspect when he disappears.
@SergioValenCo: If you encounter a bear in the wilderness, sing a Coldplay song. You'll die, but the bear will suffer too.
@SergioValenCo: If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
@SergioValenCo: Damn girl, are you my Bachelor's degree because you wasted my time and now I hate you.
@SergioValenCo: Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational tweets are hard.
@SergioValenCo: What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?
@SergioValenCo: I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don't like her new haircut.
@SergioValenCo: Don't scream. I came to your house because you never responded to my DMs. Are you OK?
@SergioValenCo: I believe in you. I also believe in dragons, so don't get too excited.
@SergioValenCo: Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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