Smiling releases endorphins in your body, which relieves stress.
All I have to do now is explain that to my proctologist when he’s done.
Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription.
I think God created marriage so death wouldn’t come as such a disappointment.
Yeah I’m married, but get one thing straight, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanfdsskk THIS IS SHAUN’S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
When my wife wants my opinion, she’ll give it to me.
Hooker says $500. I say $50. She walks away.
Later, I’m walking with my wife, same hooker sees me and says, I see what you got for $50.
I’m married, yet the only person that willingly goes down on their knees in front of my crotch is a 72 year old suit tailor named Pablo.
I’ll always remember the day my wife said “yes” to my proposal.
And I’ll never forget that it was the last thing we ever agreed on.