@ShellHasDragons

Due to my diabetic meds, I’ve lost significant weight everywhere except my face cheeks. I’m officially a squirrel.

@ShellHasDragons

I have a high forehead, which is pretty crap when you realise it had no grass

@ShellHasDragons

What if all this is just because the great game developer in the sky put us on autoplay?

@ShellHasDragons

Me: I’ve decided to start a salon from home.
Also me: Hair just everywhere

@ShellHasDragons

Colleague, commenting when the lockdown eventually lifts: oh you must’ve really missed the salon
Me, looking like I normally do:

@ShellHasDragons

First meeting working remotely.

My boss: turn the camera on please
Me: it’s broken

What. You’re wearing pants to work from home?

@ShellHasDragons

Me, taking applications for the Illuminati: oh, I never said I’d send the forms anywhere

@ShellHasDragons

If it burns when you pee, you need to be eating less firewood.

It’s science