Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ShellHasDragons's best tweets

@ShellHasDragons : Me: I have a ninja dog
Everybody: where?

@ShellHasDragons: Them: do something every day that scares you
Me: *steps in a hole filled with spiders
Me: *just screaming

@ShellHasDragons: People will excuse almost anything if you carry your toothbrush with purpose, everywhere.

@ShellHasDragons: If anyone wants to know why parents dont sleep, it's the foot in your nose at 00:39

@ShellHasDragons: Canada brought you Nickelback. Now you know why Canadians are sorry.

@ShellHasDragons: No, Facebook camera, I just sat on the toilet, I don't want to take a picture to commemorate the moment.

@ShellHasDragons: God, creating dogs: GIVE THEM JOY AND POOP
Angel: what about balance
God: SOMETHING THAT'LL BRING DEAD BIRDS AS GIFTS HAHAHA. CALL IT CAT.

@ShellHasDragons: PaY fIVe MiLlIoN nOw AnD tHe DoG dOeSn'T gEt SmAsHeD

Signed: nOt ThE cAt