@SkinnieTalls

The best thing about coming from a big family is being able to talk louder than normal people.

@SkinnieTalls

Hey women, save your money, we just want you wrapped in a bow for Christmas. Wait, don’t even worry about buying the bow.

@SkinnieTalls

To level the playing field, online dating sites should require using the picture in your driver’s license.

@SkinnieTalls

It rubs the lotion on its skin and struggles with the doorknobs again.

@SkinnieTalls

Your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this gang apart.

@SkinnieTalls

My future’s so bright that I have to wear lampshades like an injured dog.