@SkippyMcGizzard
For once, I’d like to see an action movie where someone yells “WE’VE GOT COMPANY,” and then some nice neighbors come over and they have a lovely dinner party.
@SkippyMcGizzard
@SkippyMcGizzard
My cat is like a jealous lover. She’s like, “Let me smell you first before you touch me. Where have you been?”
@SkippyMcGizzard
Hideous was the unattractive Greek god of hiding.
@SkippyMcGizzard
My stint as an interpretive dance crossing guard didn’t last very long.
@SkippyMcGizzard
*Johnny Lawrence in the bedroom making passionate love to his woman, and sensei breaks down the door*
SWEEP THE LEG!!
Johnny: Can’t you just leave me alone, and what does that even mean right now?!
@SkippyMcGizzard
All I’m saying is that if your name is Shannon, and you name your daughter after yourself, you better name her Shannonagain.
@SkippyMcGizzard
If you break the rules, you can get ejected from a football game. If they make it like an ejection seat, so the player is just yeeted out of the stadium, THEN I’d watch football.
@SkippyMcGizzard
Cartman: Respect my
a a
@SkippyMcGizzard
ME: *kneading the crap out of a box of Kleenex*
STORE CLERK: Excuse me, what are you doing?
ME: deep tissue massage
CLERK: *whispering into walkie talkie* security
@SkippyMcGizzard
Are 19th Century menstrual pads called period pieces?