Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of SlipperySecret's best tweets

@SlipperySecret : What kind of monster makes ultrathin cheese slices?

@SlipperySecret: Whoever's job it is to make sure
I eat before I drink is fired.

@SlipperySecret: Sorry I called you "sexy" and didn't really mean it, but I was hungry and you were a mirage of pizza.

@SlipperySecret: I ran out of excuses to get out of family gatherings, so I moved out of state.

@SlipperySecret: I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.

...because I don't have time to get arrested today.

@SlipperySecret: Guy knocking on bathroom door after sex:
I think I love you.

Me stringing tampons together, making a rope to climb out the window:

@SlipperySecret: April is alcohol awareness month.....I think we're all aware.