@Smooheed: Nutritionist: Let's identify those triggers that stop you from eating well, they could be subtle
M: I guess the main one is being awake
@Smooheed: It's difficult to do a sassy walk away when you've tied your shoelaces together
I know this now
@Smooheed: You know it was a good party when the neighbor sends you a text to say they managed to get your bra off their roof
@Smooheed: The neighbor is having an open home
How long should I stand at my front door naked yelling at birds?
@Smooheed: Sometimes I think my toddlers are smart
Other times they throw tantrums because they get their fingers stuck
In their other hand
@Smooheed: Yeah but how many of you can say you've managed to get your head stuck in the strings of a piano
@Smooheed: I'm spending my adult life behind bars, or as my spouse likes to call it, married
@Smooheed: *twirls fork through hair*
So, is it is really murder if you stab them when they stand between you and your cake?