@Sorrowscopes

I am interested in:

⚪️ men

⚪️ women

🔘 making peace with the terror of being alive

@Sorrowscopes

Virgo: Expect romance on the horizon. Do not expect it to ever come closer to you than that.

@Sorrowscopes

Aries: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

@Sorrowscopes

Aries: You will dance on your enemy’s grave this week, finishing 3rd in the grave dancing contest.

@Sorrowscopes

Gemini: Invisible hands draw closer to your throat. Also, an Adobe software update is available. It will require a restart.

@Sorrowscopes

Capricorn: Next year will be the year you start living like a king. Isolated, paranoid, never sure if anyone’s affections are genuine.

@Sorrowscopes

Capricorn: Are you really gonna trust NASA? After they left Matt Damon on Mars? Who does that?

@Sorrowscopes

Sagittarius: A bad situation gets worse this week when your family refuses to pay the ransom.

@Sorrowscopes

Aquarius: This week you’re feeling crafty. How many household items can you turn into a shank?

@Sorrowscopes

Cancer: Expect a minor shakeup at work this week when you find your boss eating what’s left of Gary.