I am interested in:
🔘 making peace with the terror of being alive
Virgo: Expect romance on the horizon. Do not expect it to ever come closer to you than that.
Aries: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.
Aries: You will dance on your enemy’s grave this week, finishing 3rd in the grave dancing contest.
Gemini: Invisible hands draw closer to your throat. Also, an Adobe software update is available. It will require a restart.
Capricorn: Next year will be the year you start living like a king. Isolated, paranoid, never sure if anyone’s affections are genuine.
Capricorn: Are you really gonna trust NASA? After they left Matt Damon on Mars? Who does that?
Sagittarius: A bad situation gets worse this week when your family refuses to pay the ransom.
Aquarius: This week you’re feeling crafty. How many household items can you turn into a shank?
Cancer: Expect a minor shakeup at work this week when you find your boss eating what’s left of Gary.